What is that called? Oh, yeah a table!

Okay, this will be short since I just deleted my great entry...and I mean it was wonderful. Talked about coming up from the dead and poop and all kinds of cool stuff, but it is gone now cuz I don't know how to use a computer! Why? Because I am totally fuzzed out in my brain and cannot make any sense of the senseless babble that is in my head. I need sleep. I need my baby to let me sleep. He wants an all-you-can-eat boob fest all night and day, and I gotta tell you...it is a little exhausting. I couldn't remember the word for “table” today. Elizabeth had to finally ask me if I meant "table". I just stared back at her with my mouth open and drool coming out nodding slowly. (I think she may have taken a breast pad and wiped it off my lip...what a good girl!) I do have great kids. They have been home for a three week break, and besides the clump of poop left in the washer after the wash had been put in the dryer...(yes, washed poop still stinks and sometimes older siblings don't know they should rinse the poop out of the underwear of their regressing sibling’s (Sam) underwear. ( I swear he pooped his pants for the 100th time)...yeah, had to wash that load again...in hot. So, where was I? (Got the poop story in, hope I don't delete this again) ....it has been great. I am trying to resurrect my personality now and I hope expressing myself on this blog will help. Just a shout out to all of you who are trying to laugh at life and be grateful for insanity... I have been working on that gratitude thing?...and it is working I think...I just hope I don't die now that I feel peaceful and grateful for my kids and home...uhoh that always happens in the movies and I am reading some really sappy books by Nicholas Sparks (chic books...good ones) and so many are sick and dying when they have so much to live for...getting me paranoid. Okay, I am rambling. Love you and share me with your friends. We are all in this together right? I have missed you all. (Thanks to all your… “I miss your blog comments”) Ana

Sparkly Leotards

Having the desire to skip out of the state and join some desert Indians somewhere in the cliffs of New Mexico, I have opted to write a little to my blog and go to bed trying to ignore a loud "Stargate" episode blasting from the T.V--from the husband (praise the Lord for orange ear plug things). I am full of pregnant emotion and might write things I could regret, therefore, I will just feel the satisfaction that there are others out there who have hated their husbands at one point in time and who have wished that they were single and could join the circus if they really wanted to...(not saying that life now is not similar to the circus, I just think it would be fun to be on some trapeze or something and wear sparkly leotards)...oh, and I guess I could say the same about myself! Hahh.. Imagining my husband in a sparkly leotard has suddenly made me feel a whole lot better. So, this has worked and you have all helped me tonight. Thank you! Well, goodnight, and I will attempt to be better on my writing though my life right now does not allow me to be very commital in my blog entries. I love you all. If any of you are upset by my man-hate right now, then I suggest, you stop reading my blog all together, cuz this is a little too much realism that you may not be ready for. Goodnight--bitter, pregnant woman., Ana!

Mother's Day Thoughts.

Okay. I have been lame and have not written in quiet a while. I am up a lot later than usual because if I sleep, the day will come quick and I will have another day with throw-up and diarrhea boy. I don't even know if I spelled that stinky poop right ...but I don't even care...since I swear I still smell it, no matter how many times I clean the toilet or wash my hands...(maybe its in my nose...sorry.) I have had so many things to write about in the last couple of weeks. I will spare you.
One thing that I do want to share is a reminiscence of Mother's Day. I hope all of you had a good one yesterday. I know quite a few who did and I know some who did not. I never realized how much Mother's Day is painful to so many. Mothers who are sick, passed on, neglectful...so many reasons to not have warm fuzzies on Mother's Day. There are also those who are not Mothers and mourn for that fact. I am grateful to be a Mother. (of course so much easier when they are all in bed right?) But it is true. I love them so much. I don't realize how many times they make me smile and how many times I want to grab that perfect place on there soft little necks and kiss it. I get afraid of dying as a young mother. I wonder if any of you do too. I pray every day that I can be spared to watch my kids grow up...and honestly, then He can take me. I have a friend whose husband was tragically killed recently in an auto accident as they were driving to San Diego on vacation. Just like that he is gone. Just like that she is left to raise her children without him. Life is fragile. Let’s enjoy every moment of it. Till next time...hopefully on a lighter note. Sorry for the depression, you can forward me the Prozac prescription. We will see if my insurance pays for it. ---Ana.

Sibling Justice...never as great as we imagine.

Sibling rivalry....ever had it? Ever seen it? I have too. This morning my four year old daughter, Rebekah was blaming her 2 year old brother, Sam, on her foot hurting. She was repeating over and over again (in her brain scrambling, torcherous way) "Mom! Sam hurt my foot". My "sorry about that" were not cutting it in her book. She wanted justice...she wanted payback...she wanted pain. After the 15th time (I am very resilient...at least I think I am) of her nagging me about Sam and her foot being hurt, I said to her, "Rebekah, what do you want to do to him? spank him?" Okay, I think this is going to strike some sort of compassion cord with her and she would cry out..."Oh, no mommy that would be so sad....I love my brother!". No. Only in my imagination. So instead of my "imagined reply" she says, " YES!". I clarify..."Do you really want me to spank Sam for that?" her reply,"YES!". Then I said (still hopeful) ..."But it would hurt Sam." She replies, "No it won't!". I said, "Yes, it will". Then she says with a shrug of her shoulders, "JUST CHECK!". Just check? ....what kind of cruel sister is this? I had to supress the laugh in my throat.
This actually brought back a memory that I have of my own childhood. I remember my brother doing something bad to us...(probably the usual punch on the arm, or stand on my face, or spit or whatever he could do to hurt me (the most aggrivating sister on the planet...I don't blame you Gary...I just feel sorry for ya)) So, my mom said to me and my other brother David...."Go get the belt!". We salivated at the idea of my brother being spanked by the belt and getting all that was coming to him. I remember being excited. I ran down the stairs were my Dad's belts were kept and looking at them I debated on whether I should bring up the belt with metal buckles spaced at every two inches..or the one without the buckles. I imagined the suffering that my brother would finally get if my Mom layed on him with the metal torcher belt. I grabbed it! (There was no way I was going to pass up this opportunity for justice!) I handed the belt to my Mom. She looks at the belt. She looks into me and my brother David's eyes, as they were filled with anticipation and excitement for what that belt would symbolize!. She looked in my brother Gary's eyes...full of fear and tear full eyes for what was to come. Then turning to us, the punishers, she slowly asks, "So, you want me to belt Gary with this belt?" We nodded with smiles, "Yes! Yes!"... "You would have me use this on his bum?" ... "Yes, Yes!". Then, my mom does the unexpected...she turns on us! "How mean you kids are that you would want your brother to feel this belt...I will belt both of you for wanting him to be hurt!". And she belted all three of us. Gary for being bad, me and David for being cruel. So, really there is no way around justice and punishment. I guess mercy should really be our only route. Now, how do we teach this to our children? I am working on it...just as you are. I will appreciate it more when they are playing with out fighting and giggling over their usual poop, pee and bum jokes. Lot better than fights. Hang in there Moms!----Ana.

I NEED RICE ! (says the nation..and me)

I just have to share something! A couple of weeks ago, my mom tells me that her friend in Florida claims there is a rice shortage and to stock up on as much rice as possible. I laughed at this, saying that it was probably some poor rice farmer in Asia who had a brilliant idea to pass around a mass email about how there will be no more rice and get the sales going crazy. (if this was the case...brilliant, brilliant, Asian!) So, today I was at Costco and my mom and I suddenly got this urge to buy rice! To my utter dismay....there was no more rice! And there was a sign that said that everyone is limited to one bag per person (mind you this is like 20lb bag and anyone who eats this much rice in a month needs to go on a carb diet and is at risk for diabetes!) Okay...so my mom is sad. She is suddenly lost down the aisle and comes back with a HUGE case of Top Ramen! I am laughing as she is saying outloud, "Fine, I will buy top Ramen this will be my rice!". I died laughing at her. We are gluttenous Americans that feel a desperation if we can't buy something ..NOW!. ( My mom later informed me that she stopped at another grocery store and bought 5 lbs of rice. She admits she doesn't cook rice so often, but feels better having it.) I am concerned about our overall gluteny in America. It is funny to me how many people have expressed concern and sympathy to me for having our fifth child and living in a three bedroom house. I see in there eyes honest concern for our housing situation! When I reflect on this I laugh at our extreme standard of living in this country! Our housing situation is great---to the rest of the world. I guess the only standard we should compare ourselves to is our own. So, whether it's a question of if 50lbs of rice is enough compared to 5lbs or a 5 bedroom home compared to a 3 bedroom home...is a matter of perspective. I am thankful for the blessings we have in this country. Unfortunately we have to work on greed, gluteny, pride and all the other fun attributes that seem to come with an abundant life. Be grateful for your life--and all you have, cuz it is more than others and less than some! Goodnight--Ana

Check out my videos posted! Get ready to laugh

Okay so here a few video favorites to brighten your day. Please look below at the Ohcrap one! This is classic and makes us all feel a little less sorry for us when we have had a bad day. The baby one to the right? Will just make you laugh out loud. Keep smilin! Ana

Here's to the support of Bras, Backs and Friends!

There are a lot of things I take for granted that give me support. One of them is my bra. Our bra is the most important thing we wear because more than any article of clothing...it defies gravity and makes us look halfway decent. (whether you have them long, small, fat, skinny). The bra doesn't demand a lot of attention unless you are wearing a flashy one to be sexy or if your back fat is out of control and you feel it cutting into your skin. (not fun, been there, doing that!) Another thing that supports us but we overlook it's service is, our back. I have a husband who needs a daily back crack cuz his has decided not to work. So, I sit on his back everyday and push down on his back as he breaths in then out and then try for that "CRACK". The more cracks, the more accomplished I feel that day. I know it is a silly way to judge my accomplishements but when that is all I feel I was a success at that day...I take what I can! My back is hurting now. My lower back nerve (siatic..sp?) is killing me and I feel like I could just jam it into a post, and then it would feel better. Or, if someone could pull my leg out and it would snap and...aahhh, relief. But, no, I must endure this torcher so that I can appreciate this little baby coming...the sacrifice. I must remember that this is all so that I may love him enough. (ugh). So, I mention these, but the support that I feel most appreciative right now is friends. This Sunday at church I was doubting whether I would ever make it out alive with my children. Actually I wanted to be anywhere where my children were not. ( I know it sounds bad...but this blog is not about sounding good... it is me, and if you start thinking less of me for it, then you might want to find a more positive blog to read.) I was amazed at the amount of "supporters" I have in my ward. Men, women, children.... I was encouraged to "hang in there" by so many and felt love from all of them. From a look to words of encouragement...it was there. I felt it today aswell. A good friend told me today that she had anticipated our friendship when she had just moved here, and had recieved a spiritual witness that I would be in her life. This really touched me. I feel the Lord is very aware of each of us and he sends his "angels" which come disguised as friends to love us and support us in our life. I am so thankful for this. Without this divine support of my friends, I believe, I would be the saddest loser and would have no hope to go forward. So, this is my message. Friends are good. I love all of you, my friends. Thanks for taking the time to read my silly thoughts...and supporting me, even when I am just venting off some feelings. Tell me what you need, want...etc..and I am there for you. I owe you all so much. (Got a little mushy there) Till next time--and give thanks for your bra, your back and most of all...your friends. --Ana.