Monday, May 12, 2008

Mother's Day Thoughts.

Okay. I have been lame and have not written in quiet a while. I am up a lot later than usual because if I sleep, the day will come quick and I will have another day with throw-up and diarrhea boy. I don't even know if I spelled that stinky poop right ...but I don't even care...since I swear I still smell it, no matter how many times I clean the toilet or wash my hands...(maybe its in my nose...sorry.) I have had so many things to write about in the last couple of weeks. I will spare you.
One thing that I do want to share is a reminiscence of Mother's Day. I hope all of you had a good one yesterday. I know quite a few who did and I know some who did not. I never realized how much Mother's Day is painful to so many. Mothers who are sick, passed on, many reasons to not have warm fuzzies on Mother's Day. There are also those who are not Mothers and mourn for that fact. I am grateful to be a Mother. (of course so much easier when they are all in bed right?) But it is true. I love them so much. I don't realize how many times they make me smile and how many times I want to grab that perfect place on there soft little necks and kiss it. I get afraid of dying as a young mother. I wonder if any of you do too. I pray every day that I can be spared to watch my kids grow up...and honestly, then He can take me. I have a friend whose husband was tragically killed recently in an auto accident as they were driving to San Diego on vacation. Just like that he is gone. Just like that she is left to raise her children without him. Life is fragile. Let’s enjoy every moment of it. Till next time...hopefully on a lighter note. Sorry for the depression, you can forward me the Prozac prescription. We will see if my insurance pays for it. ---Ana.


  1. Sorry to hear about your friend, that is awful. You know I fear dying as a young mother more than I should. But I think the Lord knows how much our kids need us and hopefully will factor that in before He takes us home.

    It would be easier to love my kids when they sleep if Megan would sleep in her own bed instead of mine! Help!

  2. I think that it is almost a part of being a mother, the worry about dying young and not getting to raise them. I plead that the Lord will spare our children and then to also spare us so we can raise them and love them and make sure that they know we do and that they know God loves them. I can't help but plead with Him frequently about it. I am thankful for His patience with me and my pleadings. He knows our days and He knows our desires and that gives me hope.

  3. About time you posted again. I was starting to feel too optimistic about life! JUST KIDDING!! I'll get that Prozac prescription in the mail but you have to share with me.

    Here is how I feel better about the possibility of dieing young. I was also sure the day would never come that I would graduate high school. I was sure I would never get married. Then I became sure I would never be able to have children. Now it's inevitable I'm going to die too young. See a pattern.

    Ironically the only part of President Alston's talk in stake conference that I caught was, "only 20% of the things we worry about actually come true, 80% never do. So it's better to just live life and deal with the 20% when they come."

    What I want to know is why are we women almost compulsive about worrying? Does it change anything? Is there some good that comes from worrying?

  4. Happy (belated) Mother's Day!! See you guys in a couple weeks!

  5. I've thought about dying young too . . . I really think it's just part of the territory, and the terrible responsibilty you feel for your kids well-being, and being absolutely sure that no one else would ever raise them as well as you could.

    But then, one day, I decided that instead of worrying about what could happen, I decided to enjoy what was happening, and worry about tomorrow, tomorrow.

    That's not to say that it never crosses my mind anymore. But I also realized what great family and friends I have, and how none of them would ever let my kids be neglected, and while I'm still SURE that I would be the best person to raise my kids, I also know that they will always be taken care of. And that is comforting.

  6. Yes I think about that sometimes too. My husband and I have already talked about what he and the kids need to do if that were to happen. I told him to "get on with it, and get our kids a mother asap, no guilt, no worries,"

    On the other hand, it is true what Ashlie says, and I need to stop worrying about things I can't control, and to focus on the things that I CAN control.

    Know what you mean by Mother's Day. I basically kind of forgot about it because I went into Florence Nightingale (emphasis on night here) mode for the whole weekend right after Ryan had his surgery.

    Hope you had a Happy Mother's Day. (fuzzies and hugs here)

  7. Ana! I'm glad I found your blog--reading it brings back lots of fond memories, especially of our poo dance ;)
    Holly (Rands) Broadbent

  8. I stumbled on your blog today from Meridith's ramblings.

    Congrats on the 5th baby coming. We miss you guys. Lizzy will tell me from time to time that she has a friend in Arizona named Becca but she is forgetting how she sounds . . . "Mom, I miss her . . . let's go see her TODAY!!!"

    We would love to see you again if you are ever coming up north. Also if you ever need a place to stay please call us.

  9. "How happy could I had been if I had only known I was happy" Brigham Young
    Too bad I learned that as an old lady.
    I am so proud to be your mom, I adore you.