A miraculous wake up.

"You wouldn't believe what he did Ms. Marshall!, this morning he put the water in the sun so it would warm up before I washed my hair!" Those words were expressed through a smile of decaying teeth and wrinkles as we were waiting for hair cuts. Haircuts for Ms. Valoree and for Mike--miracle worker Mike. She told me she never had a professional cut before. She was giddy and grinning from ear to ear. The ladies at Great Clips were so sweet. They recognized her as the "smiling for our troops" homeless lady. Extra effort was being made to make them both look extra special. As I watched her and Mike's hair being cut and styled, a gentleman waiting for his son's hair cut, approaches me with a lowered voice and a warning. "I want you to know that I almost turned the other way when I saw these two in here...." as he flashes his police badge, " I know a lot about them and I won't go into detail about it.. " what? theft? drugs? alcohol? abuse?...thanks for protecting my delicate ears. "But I want you to know this is refreshing. Its good to see this side of humanity. Its good to see good things happening and attempts for change happening. Just want you to know this was good to see." I gave him a half smile.
Valoree could not stop talking about how light and bouncy her head felt. She did not remember the small pleasure of clean and groomed hair. Everyone gave us an audible farewell--everyone but the cop. They even walked out with a generous donation from the stylist of 10 packets of expensive shampoos and conditioners. I got a discount.... :-)
So in the last two days it has been busy. Clothes and shoe shopping, doctor appointments, pizza, Viva burrito, slurpees and more doctor visits. It had been over 10 years since Valoree had seen a doctor. She found out info she didn't want to know. She was scared and nervous. She is realizing how her husband, who passed away, kept her down. How he kept her afraid and abused and homeless. How she gave up her 3 children for him. Its as if Ms. Valoree is waking up. Waking up from a deep sleep of 17 years of abuse not counting her oppressive childhood.
She went home with sunscreen, face lotion, perfumes, pretty bra and a nail maintenance kit to mention a few. Make overs are on next weeks schedule. Mike got a little help too. Being homeless for the last 3 years has taken a toll. Shoes and clothes and a second chance is what he needed. Determined to take Ms. Valoree out of the desert and into a home, we brainstormed job options. He is hopeful and good.

A miracle has occurred. I heard Mike say several times, "Its gonna be OK baby.." and she'd answer,"alright baby, I trust you...". Love. LOVE IS AWESOME!!! Love is the driving force in change. Love from others, love for ourselves and most importantly love from the Savior. Love is changing Ms. Valoree!! Woo hoo. Powerful. Miraculous. This leads me to reflect on the love in my life. The way it motivates and inspires me to be better. To be more than I am. To serve and thank God every day for my family and my incredible friends who surround me and lift me up. With love, truly all things are possible. Thank you for your love. XoxO Til next time.

One way ticket to "la Isla bonita" please?

So tonight I did something out of the ordinary...I watched two movies--in a row. First of all, I hardly ever watch movies let alone two. It felt great. It felt wild. And now I'm eating chocolate at 11:54pm and I know I will be regretting it in the morning from all those dumb calories I'm consuming late at night but I don't care right now and I'm totally enjoying it. Today was one of those days that I think I would like to put circus music too--maybe add some classic psycho music in there too. Some days are like that. More than some days are like that for me lately and I am ready to stop and get off the ride. What is this all for? Progression? Whatever. Who really is progressing when all I'm doing is driving kids from school to sports to activity to church to home? What kind of family progresses when all the mom wants to do is run away to some island in the South Pacific and gorge herself on mangoes she bought from a nice fruit vendor with a handsome goatee on the beach...perhaps he sprinkles some cayenne pepper on it like they do in Mexico. Or the husband...any way, we'll leave him out.
Today I went on an hour swim. The water was perfect and clear. I did imagine myself in the ocean swimming away. I swam hard and felt my muscles burn. I loved it. I love the sound of the water in my ears as I inhale then exhale into the water. I love the smell. Chlorine smells so amazing. Someone had brought a freshly washed towel and laid it over the side of the pool--I smelled that too when the breeze blew it's scent. I'm grateful for that hour today. I guess that is really what this day should be about...the little good things that meant a lot today. The funny things my kids say, the time in the water, the movies I made myself watch tonight and the chocolate I just gobbled up. I'm still in my swim suit. The next and last thing on my gratitude list will be a shower then sleep. I'll try to tune a new song to my day tomorrow. Circus music is creepy. Goodnight.

An honest statement....

After erasing my blog entry three times because it was too honest and open. I will just post this. Marriage is hard. Okay, now you know. Goodnight. :-)

Marriage and Family battle scars....

So below are the new additions to our wall and our lives. When Doug and I were just married we had created the "White Notebook". In this notebook were ground rules and ideas we believed in and ideally wanted to achieve. We were hopeful that we would keep to this notebook and were confident that it would lead us to happiness in this life and in the next. Of course it is easy to stray from the "white notebook". Satan and temptations...tired of trying...and many distractions have made it difficult to live every word of the white notebook. We have had our ups and downs like any other family and marriage. Recently we had another "awakening" of sorts and realized that we have become off track in a lot of ways in our family and marriage. We are coasting by and taking for granted our life. After many prayers and tears we came up with these two documents. They are now hanging on our wall with the Christ in the middle. We created these together as a family and as a marriage. This was not a quick write up...this took some thought. Eternal family is not easy. Today we tried to have some discussion and scripture time and by the time me and Doug were through--we wanted to kill and burn our creed. It is not easy to patiently give up our carnal appetites and passions for what is most important--and that is each other and family. I am a living testament to that. But what I do know that when and IF we do attain this "Nirvana" of family and marriage life...I bet it will be worth every bit of those tears. Good luck to all those troopers who are trying to win the fight too. (Scream when no one is listening while listening to some crazy music...my secret.) :-)

We believe....

Marshall Creed

Happiness in family is most likely to be achieved when founded on the teachings of Jesus Christ

1.We believe that our home should be patterned after the temple. It is a house of prayer, a house of fasting, a house of faith, a house of learning, a house of glory, a house of order, and a house of God.
2.We believe in loyalty and loving our family and placing each other’s needs before our own. We are slow to anger, not offended, quick to forgive, and resolve disagreements with love and respect.
3.We believe that we can maintain the Spirit in our home as we go to bed on time, wake up on time, have morning and evening prayers, daily family scripture study, and family home evening weekly.
4.We believe in honoring and supporting our parents and in being obedient to what they ask. Love is the foundation of everything they do.
5.We believe in being morally clean and in only allowing wholesome media to enter our home. We dress modesty and obey the clothing guidelines set forth in the For the Strength of Youth pamphlet.
6.We believe in building God’s kingdom on earth by attending all church meetings, accepting and magnifying our callings, and serving in the church when needed.
7.We believe that all our communication should build and uplift each other. We would not use names that degrade, we use tones that are pleasant, and volume that is appropriate.
8.We believe in wholesome recreational activities. We should have fun together, play together, spend time together, and have monthly family adventures.
9.We believe in being financially independent. We will pay a full tithing, live within our means, not rely upon credit, and will save money to pay for “wants”.
10.We believe in developing our talents in music and athletics and using those talents to nurture relationships and serving God.
11.We believe in educating our minds and spirits, in obtaining as much education as possible, in reading good books, and in creating a nurturing learning environment in our home.
12.We believe in being healthy, in exercising frequently, in eating healthy food, and obeying the Word of Wisdom.
13.We believe that Christ is the way to happiness in life and life eternal. We know that the greatest joys in life are to be found in righteous living and strengthening family relationships.

Setting some ground rules....

Marriage
We consecrate our lives to one another in establishing and maintaining a happy celestial marriage on earth.

1. Perfectly loyal
2. Let virtue garnish our thoughts
3. Focus on the eternal
4. Implicit trust and be perfectly honest
5. Always give the benefit of the doubt
6. Build and uplift each other in all we do
7. Counsel together and be one in purpose
8. Frankly forgive and take no offense
9. Couple prayer, scripture, and temple
10. Smile, laugh, date, and flirt ferociously

Haiku's are my only remedy....

So...today I have written some haiku's of my own. This is not a declaration of me as a poet but of a woman with some serious feelings that can only be expressed as of anciently... lol. Enjoy and don't expect TOO much. My first try, cut me some slack.

Steam rises from heat,
Melting ice cream cherry falls
Screams the child within.

Palms sway in the breeze,
Mango juicy quenching thirst
Gold glitter on me

Leaves fall to the ground
At my feet a pile of years
Life is born from love

No band aid for me
Whiney children die! die! die!
Peace through pain killers

Strength comes from effort
Deodorant has worn off
Nothing left to prove

Head pulse to the beat
Rumpilicious shaky shake
No music eyes closed

Hungry children now
Dinner waiting to be served
Face book beckons me to stay

Surge of loneliness
Memories of life and death
The red chair beckons